sangre_fria: (Default)
I had a really weird dream the other night.

There was a little boy who could do anything he wanted. He almost reminded me of a cross between Heero Yuy and Duo Maxwell. He was that focused and driven, while still being mischievous and charming. I knew this with all the certainty that a dream can give. He waved at me and started running. In true dream form, I started to chase him, but could never catch him.

All of a sudden, we were at a motel (like the one I stayed at during Spanish conference, but several stories high) and he started up the stairs. I followed him up the winding staircase, but still couldn't catch up to him. I felt like I was climbing for days. Then he ran into a room. I followed him in.

He told me that I was tired and that I should lay down. He said he would watch over me while I slept. It was then that I realized that the room was a nursery. All my old toys were there and my music box was playing. But I was tired so I feel asleep in the dream.

I don't know how much time had passed when I heard a voice ask me if I was going to sleep my entire life. I opened my "eyes" and Rene was standing over me, smiling with her eyebrows raised the way she does when I'm being goofy and not making any sense. The rest of my girl friends were behind her, gathered around the boy and telling him how cute he was and that they loved him.

I left the room because it was getting late and called to them. The door slammed in my face. When I opened it again, the room was like any other motel room, and empty. I had to go home because it was the fall now and I had to go back to school. My entire senior year flashed before my eyes but I would go back and check in the room everyday. My friends were nowhere to be found. I aged a lot during the year, and I couldn't tell anyone what had happened.

Then it was graduation day. I went to check the room one last time. I was dressed in my graduation cap and gown and my mom was waiting downstairs to take me to the ceremony. As I reached for the doorknob, the door swung open, almost hitting me in the face.

My friends came rushing out, laughing. They hadn't aged a day since I'd last seen them. I felt so old. "Hey Cassie, what's up?" "It's graduation day! Where have you been?!"

They all looked at me like I was crazy, shrugged and went back inside. The door slammed in my face...again. I didn't even bother to try the door. I knew it would just be an empty room. But then I realized that, given a choice, I wouldn't have gone in with them. Yes, I would miss them. And yes, my life was going to be a long, lonely, uphill climb. But there would be good times as well, and the struggles would make the rewards that much sweeter. So I turned my back on the room for the last time and walked away.

I'm sure that this dream is a candid look deep into my subconscious, but this entry is already too long to really analyse it right now. I know that the little boy probably represents childhood, and the room is a metaphor for eternal youth. Feel free to post your thoughts on this.

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sangre_fria

May 2008

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